Confession

[Pedro]

Was at Yorkshire Motorshow today, and someone entered my Carlton for Best Saloon, and I didn't know owt about it till some mad bint told me to get it in the ring NOW! Well, it's rude to keep a lady waiting, so I dutifully got a smack in the face for mis-interpreting her order, and took it in the ring.

For a change, I came second................

To a F**d Onion!

I have sinned.........I'm a bad man!

Any how, it was the Carlton's first show (only got it on the road last weekend), so well chuffed!

[colonelk]

Nice work man!

Still looking forward to seeing your car in the flesh

[Pedro]

Thanks! TBH, it was a very tidy Onion, all straight and clean, but it was an onion all said and done!

OH THE SHAME!

[Mezzy]

Dont blame yourself or the onion mate, BLAME THE FKIN JUDGES FOR BEING SO FKIN BLIND. Daft t**t's. Your cars nice dude !

[Pedro]

He is right Pete! Your car is Gorgeous! It would look better with an Irmscher tinted rear-panel though.

Cheers!
 
Irmscher rear panel would be found either at the end of a rainbow, or right next to the rocking horse poo!
I did think about it, found one, but the guy wanted far too much cash for it. I'm happy with my car's R. Send now, cos I think the Irmy panel wouldn't go with the rear spoiler, and it took fookin' ages to get the CARLTON badge just right!

[DTM-racer]

Hey pedro I could get you one for the right amont of money............ I sure UB is over here very soon!!!!

[DTM-racer]

By the way DTM-Racer.........If you must shorten UrbannDisaplin down because it is too long for you to type/spell, at least you could use the correct letters. Thats "U" and "D" mate!!!!

No just get a shorter name that I can be bothered to type!!!

[DTM-racer]

All this from the guy who wants to help out as much as possible promoting the Forum?? Huuuummmmmmmmm.....................If you cannot be bothered to type my name in full what use are you exactly??

Great use in fact, just don't want to waste my valuable time type silly names!!!!!

[Mezzy]

Now, Now Girls Handbags at ten paces PLEASE !! LoL 

[Mezzy]

HEY. DT. We all got valuble time, Right U.D ?

[DTM-racer]

HEY. DT. We all got valuble time, Right U.D ?

Mine cost's so much more!!!!!!!









Well thats what I am trying to convince the boss with anyway!!!

[Mezzy]

Good luck. Been trying that for years !! LoL 

[Pedro]

I should be a "Millionare" too by now...........Never been paid what i think i'm worth!

I know exactly what I'm worth, my missis keeps telling me that I'm priceless!




Or is it worthless?

[Mezzy]

Well. Mine says i'm Precious.

[Mezzy]

And what does that mean?

[Pedro]

Havent honestly got a clue..............When my Misses calls me unique she rolls her eyes so i'm guessing she is not paying me a compliment.

So far this is what i do understand about Womens english :-
1) YES = Really means NO!
2) NO = Can sometimes mean yes?
3) Maybe = A deffinate NO!
4) We need = Is really I WANT!!!
5) I am sorry = Means you'll be sorry.....
6) We need to talk = Is more like i need to complain!
7) Yup, Sure, Go ahead = I dont want you doing that.
8,) I'm not upset = Means of course i'm upset you bloody moron!
9) Do what you want dear = Definately means you'll pay for this later!
10) Are you listening to me?? = Its too late.......you're dead.
11) You must learn to comunicate Babe = Is really just agree with me or else!
12) Be romantic, turn down the lights = Means i dont want you seeing my flabby thighs.
13) Do you love me? = Is a warning that she's about to ask for something expensive!
14) Its your decision... = Means the correct decision is bloody obvious by now!
15) You're certainly attentive tonight! = Is more like, sex is all you ever think about....
16) I'll be ready in a minute! = Really means kick off your shoes and find something on TV to watch as i'm going to be hours yet!

Sad i know but its taken me years just to find this out.............

Absolutlely true, that!

Took me two wives to find that out, though - bit fick, me! - but there won't be a third, that's for sure!

[DTM-racer]

This has got me thinking and we ARE just as bad as women!!! (to a point anyway)

See if you agree with my interpretation of Men's English? :-

1) I am hungry = Yes I'm hungry!
2) I am sleepy = Means that i am sleepy.
3) I am tired = I am really tired so leave me alone!
4) Nice dress! = Whoa.....Nice cleavage!!!
5) I love you! = Lets have sex now?
6) I am bored.... = Really is, Would you like to have sex now?
7) Whats wrong Love? = Bugger! I guess sex is out of the question...........
8.) May i have this dance? = Means, I'd like to have sex with you!
9) Can i call you some time? = Yea you're fit and i'd like to have sex with you!
10) Do you want to go for a Movie? = Please go as i'd like to have sex with you!
11) Can i take you out for dinner? = Whats it going to cost me to have sex with you?
12) Will you marry me?? = Is really, I want to make it illegal for other Men to have sex with you.
13) You look tense my love, let me give you a massage = You've made me so horny i want to have sex with you in the next three minutes!
14) Lets talk Honey? = Means I'm trying to show you that i am indeed a deep person by listening to your inane dribble and then when you've finished, I'd like to have sex with you!

So is anyone else like this too or is it just me?

Very true!!!